Being able to celebrate birthdays is a joy that I seldom know how to express. As I get older, my perspectives change and several facets of my life evolve. This year, I have decided to pen down some of my musings to celebrate my natal day.
In this short expression, I mention 5 (five) things that I have come to discover are significant in life.
Consistency
I have noticed that if we want to succeed at anything, we must be consistent in the efforts required to attain success.
We tend to have certain sensations when we commence a new journey. The journey may be learning a new language, taking a new course or going to the gym. The first few days of doing these new things will solicit certain feel-good hormones from our bodies called dopamine; however, as time goes on, the hormones deplete and what sustains our drive would then become the level of discipline that we have acquired.
There is a quote I have pasted on the wall in my room, it says ‘the most important key to success is doing what you know ought to be done, even when you don’t feel like doing it.’ At the time I printed and pasted this quote, it was very apt because I had procrastinated continuing many things I had begun. The reason I find the quote very important is that once we commence a journey, the initial craze about the item we are pursuing sustains our interest; however, after a short while, we have to push ourselves, even when we do not feel like it, to sustain it. If we can do what is necessary to be successful even when we do not have the requisite motivation or willpower, we practically become unstoppable.
Silence
The older I become, the more I enjoy silence and hate noise. Noise in this instance means unsolicited opinions, gossip and small talk.
I have discovered that I now prefer to have a 1-minute conversation where I go straight to the point rather than having a 10-minute discussion before hitting the nail on the head. No need for the noise in between.
There are times when we want to catch up with people and mingle. Discussions in this instance are very welcome and needed in our daily lives; however, they should never be overdone or prolonged for more than necessary.
Always remember that less is more and it is better to speak too little than talk too much. The common quote from the 48 Laws of Power is accurate here, ‘always speak less than necessary’. There are many reasons why we should hold our tongues with leashes. Some of these reasons are that it prevents us from saying things we ought not to, our words do not become common and it allows us to attract people’s curiosity and subtle respect.
The Bible advises this in Proverbs 17:28 which states that ‘even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.’
Whilst at the University, I learnt about mindful meditation and began practising it. Initially, from the movies I watched in my childhood, I thought that meditation had to do with some superior power or being but I have discovered that this is a misconception that many people still share.
Meditation, especially mindful meditation, actually grants one the privilege to shut out all the noise around us and be in sync with oneself and nature. Whenever I have this period of relaxation, I understand that 99% of our day is filled with noise and distraction. From the moment we wake up, we are either roaming about listening to music, taking phone calls, watching the news, singing our hearts out in the shower, rushing to get to work on time, or hitting the gym and so many other things.
There was a time I asked some of my very close friends when last they sat quietly without any external distraction whatsoever. The usual response I received was that they could not recall when it last happened, which reinforces my point that 99% of our day is filled with noise and distractions.
Silence is golden.
Winning the Mornings
‘Win your mornings’ is a powerful quote that hits my head every morning. If you win this battle, your day will likely go ahead as planned.
My father always says that most successful people in the world wake up early. There are two SANs apart from my Father that I look up to (i) Chief Wole Olanipekun SAN and (ii) Muyiwa Atoyebi SAN. Guess one thing they have in common. They wake up early.
Years ago, I read an interview where Chief Wole Olanipekun SAN stated that he wakes up around 4:00 am on most days to read. Similarly, in a webinar with the Chairman of the Young Lawyers Forum at the time, my brother, Muyiwa Atoyebi SAN stated that in his journey to becoming a Senior Advocate, he wakes up around 4:00 am as well to get his day started and shortly after, he became the youngest lawyer in the history of Nigeria to become a Senior Advocate.
When we look around the globe, we will find many people who wake up very early such as Michelle Obama, the CEO of Apple – Tim Cook, CEO of AOL – Tim Armstrong, CEO of Xerox – Ursula Burns, CEO of Pepsi – Indra Nooyi, CEO of Twitter – Jack Dorsey, Virgin Group Founder – Richard Branson, CEO of Starbucks – Howard Schultz and so many others.
Now, one may ask what are the benefits of waking up early, there are many. First, you have less noise and fewer distractions. You are unlikely to be disturbed by people and you would have some time to get work done.
Secondly, it sets the rhythm for the rest of the day. When I used to wake up early, I would hit the gym, pray, meditate, arrange my space, study French and read a judgment in the Law Report before heading to the office. Imagine the strides that would be attained if one could do these things consistently for a whole month.
Also, you will unlikely be late for any engagement if you have the habit of starting your day early.
Family
The more I reflect, the more I appreciate my family and the people around me. Family to me means more than one’s nuclear or extended family but friends with whom I have good vibes and even communities such as my golfing and footballing groups.
Family is quite important as all the success we make in this world would be nothing without people to share it with. Disappointments would also be more difficult to overcome if there are no close confidants to triumph over them.
Reflections
Reflecting on past experiences is important as it gives our brains the chance to take a break from thinking about the future. It permits us to relive moments we had enjoyed in the past and appreciate things we normally would overlook.
We tend to take advantage of the things that we have achieved whilst focusing on those that we are yet to attain. We must appreciate things that have worked in our favor and thank God for permitting the things we take for granted to have happened to us.
